Ninety-four-year-old Grandma Ethel strolls into a church and heads straight for the confession booth. She eases the door shut, sits down, and clears her throat. On the other side, the priest smiles. “Welcome, my child. What would you like to confess today?” Ethel leans forward, eyes twinkling. “Father, I have a confession. Last night, I went out with a twenty-two-year-old…
Ninety-four-year-old Grandma Ethel strolls into a church and heads straight for the confession booth. She eases the door shut, sits down, and clears her throat. On the other side, the priest smiles. “Welcome, my child. What would you like to confess today?” Ethel leans forward, eyes twinkling. “Father, I have a confession. Last night, I went out with a twenty-two-year-old man.” The priest blinks. Undeterred, she continues: “Dinner, candlelight, real silverware. We danced, laughed… and then we went back to his place.”

The priest, gripping the edge of the booth, asks cautiously, “Did something… inappropriate happen?” Ethel cackles. “Oh yes, Father. Very inappropriate.” When asked when she last confessed, she thinks, “Probably… 1956?” The priest exhales. “Well, you’re overdue.” “Nope,” she says cheerfully. “I just wanted someone to brag to.”