A young woman wanted a boyfriend, so her mother arranged a blind date. When she returned home, she sighed, “That was the worst night of my life.”
“Why?” her mom asked.
“He owns a 1952 Rolls-Royce.”
“That sounds nice,” her mom replied.
“He’s the original owner,” the girl said.

After divorcing, a man tried dating again and circled a few personal ads. Days later, his ex-wife left him a message: “I saw the ads you picked. Don’t call the one in the second column… it’s me.”
On a first date, a woman said, “I hear you hunt deer.”
The man blushed. “I’m not used to someone calling me ‘dear’ on the first date.”

A circus owner saw a duck tap dancing on a pot and bought it for $5,000. Later, the duck refused to perform. Angry, he returned to the seller.
“Did you remember to light a candle under the pot?” the seller asked.
A lawyer found his damaged car with a note:

“Sorry I hit your car. People think I’m leaving my details… but I’m not.”
On another date, Smith confessed, “I’m married and have three kids.”
His girlfriend sighed in relief, “You scared me—I thought you were going to say this car isn’t yours.”